I'm going to do that one day!! If I had the money, I'd TOTALLY buy that!! We should have lunch soon!! I'll see you the next time I'm around!! How many times have we been guilty of saying that? I know that I'm guilty of that at least once a week. Great intentions + no actions = STATUS QUO. It's like a safety meeting - nobody moves- nobody gets hurt!!I remind myself everyday what it is that I want to accomplish with my life and I'm NOW finally starting to take action and, even though they're baby steps, I'm stepping off of the procrastination bus!!I'm not sure if you're familiar with a great gal Kriss Carr,she's a fellow cancer survivor who has an incurable cancer and made a documentary and wrote a book called Crazy Sexy Cancer. She has a great quote on the homepage of her website and it says - Why, when we are challenged to survive, do we give ourselves permission to truly live? Isn't that so true? How many times have you talked to a survivor of an illness,serious accident,crazy addiction etc., have you heard them say - "dude, you gotta take the time to stop and smell the roses" or "slow down and enjoy the view". I'm 100% guilty of that as well. When I was going through my treatments for leukemia and was SO BLESSED to be at the golf course and actually GOLFING- I shot like 60 in nine holes and I said "I don't care, it's a beautiful day, the sun is shining and look how beautiful this course is with it's nature filled back drop. B.S. - I shot 60 - are you kidding me!! Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to be alive and to be able to continue on with my great passion for the game of golf, my point is WHY do we have to have something terrible like cancer to make us re-adjust our sails? Life is too short and it was a serious wake up call for me back in August 2003 when I was kicked in the nuts and told " YOU HAVE CANCER" - I was only 34 years old for pete sake!! We get so wrapped up in all of lifes other B.S. that we forget to keep living and do the things we're passionate about. You receive daily reminders about why we should start chasing after our aspirations and yet we keep jumping back on that big fat procrastination bus with the destination heading to NOWHERES LAND!!! My biggest wake up call came in the form of a cancer diagnosis and STILL needed other reminders to get me the hell off of that bus. The final kick in the ass came today, and this wasn't just a kick, it was a full pledge flying kung fu Mo Fo kick square in the middle of my ass and I'm totally off of that bus full of like hasbians!! A very good friend of mine and my older brother's BEST FRIEND, passed away today at the age of 47, 47, are you fricking kidding me!! Leaving behind his wife and son & daughter in law.His name is Marcel Cancade and we affectionately called him Cito. He died from complications during heart surgery and has left a huge hole in all of our hearts - GOD BLESS YOU CITO!!! WHY,WHY and WHY do we have to have something so incredibly shitty like this to happen to keep giving us remimders - screw reminders, wake up calls, as to why we need to stop thinking about it, and like Nike says - JUST DO IT!! I have, for the first time, graciously accepted the position of CEO of this great company called MYSELF and I won't stop until I have reached the upper echelons of my life and the sky is the limit as per how far that will take me!!
We all have passions and desires that are ALWAYS burning inside of us, don't wait for the perfect moment or the proper time, because we don't truly know how much time we have!! Live your life to the fullest today, and go to bed rested so you have energy to do the same thing again tomorrow!!
Until tomorrow,
Darren
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Friday, December 16, 2005
Cancer, me, noway!!
Cancer, me, no way!!
August 5/2003, D-Day.That was the day I was officially diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia and the day that I totally thought my life was over. I remember the 2 doctors took my wife and I into the "QUIET ROOM", and it was there that they gave us the final diagnosis.When they said the words Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia or ALL which is the shorter most common term for it, it was like my soul left my body and took a seat beside me for what seemed like forever,but was probably only a couple seconds, and I remember breaking the two main words down like, okay -acute, that doesn't sound real good and then leukemia, s##t I'm DEAD!!!! Obviously, the latter never happened!! If you go back a little as 10 years ago, whenever you heard the phrase cancer or so and so has cancer, you automatically assumed their dead, right!!! Cancer was such a taboo topic back then, but unfortunately because of the huge increase in cancer diagnosis in the past 2-5 years, it isn't such a forbidden topic anymore and I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing!!When the doctors went over the treatment protocol with us they told us to prepare to put at least one year of my working life on hold, probably more like 2 but we could decide after the first year as to how I am doing. They said I will be on a 2 year chemo and brain radiation protocol and that we are going to get started A.S.A.P., and where in this time frame am I allowed to breathe??? That was exactly what happened, I was assigned a room on the cancer unit and then was whisked away for a dayfull of MRI"S ,cat scans, x-ray, and down to nuclear medicine to have a central line put into my chest,2 or 3 different heart things to see if I was well enough to handle high doses of chemotherapy, and then back to my room for blood work and then chemo, not bad for day one of finding out you have leukemia!!! and how was your day!!!!!Looking back on the past 2 years now I have total respect for each and every cancer patient, survivor and those strong brave souls who didn't survive this monster!! Living with cancer was hard,at times painful, draining on all emotions and capabilities and very draining on our finances, and as strange as this may sound to you, it was the second best thing that ever happened to me(my wife is the first best thing). Cancer has shaped me into the person that I always wanted to be but was afraid to come out the shell all the way and be this person. I have no fear and there is nothing I can't /won't do if I set my mind to it. I have a fire in my belly, and its not from radiation lol, that will never burn out.I have come to figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing with my time on this beautiful place we call earth and I embrace everyday and smile so dam much that my jaw hurts all the time!!!So don't have pity on someone you may know who has or had cancer, we have enough days on our own when we feel this way(once and a while), rather give them a big smile or heck give them a hug and tell them that they are an inspiration to you on how the human spirit should be.Remember, CANCER IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE!!! and for me I live by these words;I MAY HAVE HAD CANCER, BUT IT NEVER HAD ME!!
TAKE CARE,
RED
August 5/2003, D-Day.That was the day I was officially diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia and the day that I totally thought my life was over. I remember the 2 doctors took my wife and I into the "QUIET ROOM", and it was there that they gave us the final diagnosis.When they said the words Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia or ALL which is the shorter most common term for it, it was like my soul left my body and took a seat beside me for what seemed like forever,but was probably only a couple seconds, and I remember breaking the two main words down like, okay -acute, that doesn't sound real good and then leukemia, s##t I'm DEAD!!!! Obviously, the latter never happened!! If you go back a little as 10 years ago, whenever you heard the phrase cancer or so and so has cancer, you automatically assumed their dead, right!!! Cancer was such a taboo topic back then, but unfortunately because of the huge increase in cancer diagnosis in the past 2-5 years, it isn't such a forbidden topic anymore and I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing!!When the doctors went over the treatment protocol with us they told us to prepare to put at least one year of my working life on hold, probably more like 2 but we could decide after the first year as to how I am doing. They said I will be on a 2 year chemo and brain radiation protocol and that we are going to get started A.S.A.P., and where in this time frame am I allowed to breathe??? That was exactly what happened, I was assigned a room on the cancer unit and then was whisked away for a dayfull of MRI"S ,cat scans, x-ray, and down to nuclear medicine to have a central line put into my chest,2 or 3 different heart things to see if I was well enough to handle high doses of chemotherapy, and then back to my room for blood work and then chemo, not bad for day one of finding out you have leukemia!!! and how was your day!!!!!Looking back on the past 2 years now I have total respect for each and every cancer patient, survivor and those strong brave souls who didn't survive this monster!! Living with cancer was hard,at times painful, draining on all emotions and capabilities and very draining on our finances, and as strange as this may sound to you, it was the second best thing that ever happened to me(my wife is the first best thing). Cancer has shaped me into the person that I always wanted to be but was afraid to come out the shell all the way and be this person. I have no fear and there is nothing I can't /won't do if I set my mind to it. I have a fire in my belly, and its not from radiation lol, that will never burn out.I have come to figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing with my time on this beautiful place we call earth and I embrace everyday and smile so dam much that my jaw hurts all the time!!!So don't have pity on someone you may know who has or had cancer, we have enough days on our own when we feel this way(once and a while), rather give them a big smile or heck give them a hug and tell them that they are an inspiration to you on how the human spirit should be.Remember, CANCER IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE!!! and for me I live by these words;I MAY HAVE HAD CANCER, BUT IT NEVER HAD ME!!
TAKE CARE,
RED
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