Friday, December 16, 2005

Cancer, me, noway!!

Cancer, me, no way!!




August 5/2003, D-Day.That was the day I was officially diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia and the day that I totally thought my life was over. I remember the 2 doctors took my wife and I into the "QUIET ROOM", and it was there that they gave us the final diagnosis.When they said the words Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia or ALL which is the shorter most common term for it, it was like my soul left my body and took a seat beside me for what seemed like forever,but was probably only a couple seconds, and I remember breaking the two main words down like, okay -acute, that doesn't sound real good and then leukemia, s##t I'm DEAD!!!! Obviously, the latter never happened!! If you go back a little as 10 years ago, whenever you heard the phrase cancer or so and so has cancer, you automatically assumed their dead, right!!! Cancer was such a taboo topic back then, but unfortunately because of the huge increase in cancer diagnosis in the past 2-5 years, it isn't such a forbidden topic anymore and I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing!!When the doctors went over the treatment protocol with us they told us to prepare to put at least one year of my working life on hold, probably more like 2 but we could decide after the first year as to how I am doing. They said I will be on a 2 year chemo and brain radiation protocol and that we are going to get started A.S.A.P., and where in this time frame am I allowed to breathe??? That was exactly what happened, I was assigned a room on the cancer unit and then was whisked away for a dayfull of MRI"S ,cat scans, x-ray, and down to nuclear medicine to have a central line put into my chest,2 or 3 different heart things to see if I was well enough to handle high doses of chemotherapy, and then back to my room for blood work and then chemo, not bad for day one of finding out you have leukemia!!! and how was your day!!!!!Looking back on the past 2 years now I have total respect for each and every cancer patient, survivor and those strong brave souls who didn't survive this monster!! Living with cancer was hard,at times painful, draining on all emotions and capabilities and very draining on our finances, and as strange as this may sound to you, it was the second best thing that ever happened to me(my wife is the first best thing). Cancer has shaped me into the person that I always wanted to be but was afraid to come out the shell all the way and be this person. I have no fear and there is nothing I can't /won't do if I set my mind to it. I have a fire in my belly, and its not from radiation lol, that will never burn out.I have come to figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing with my time on this beautiful place we call earth and I embrace everyday and smile so dam much that my jaw hurts all the time!!!So don't have pity on someone you may know who has or had cancer, we have enough days on our own when we feel this way(once and a while), rather give them a big smile or heck give them a hug and tell them that they are an inspiration to you on how the human spirit should be.Remember, CANCER IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE!!! and for me I live by these words;I MAY HAVE HAD CANCER, BUT IT NEVER HAD ME!!

TAKE CARE,

RED