How come so many of us can’t find the humor when life throws us a curve ball? We all know that it’s not always going to be fastballs and we have to be able to re-adjust and learn how to hit a curve ball! Why is it, when telling others your own curve ball story that they can’t react to it in a positive way? Case in point, it was late summer 2004, I was in month 13 of my 24-month treatment protocol for acute lymphocytic leukemia. My blood counts were rising to the point where it wasn’t a huge risk to be able to interact with the general population without fear of catching a bug. I was grocery shopping and loving the fact that I felt NORMAL!! While waiting in line at the check out, I struck up a conversation with the lady in front of me. She was a well dressed woman in her mid- fifties and we started our chit chat session with the infamous ground breaker – “ so how about this crazy weather.” On this particular day, the rain had FINALLY stopped after being drenched for the better part of 4 days straight. Many homes had flooding in their basements and I asked her if she was a lucky one or an unlucky one. She replied that her house was fine and I said we were unscathed as well. We shared some idle chitchat about the rain and then it was time for the million-dollar question, “ so what do you do for a living?” Then she asked right after this, “are you on a day off today?” I quickly replied back, “no, not on a day off”. Being the gentleman that I am, I said to her, “what do I do … well, ladies first.” She said that she has always been a housewife and loves being a grandmother/babysitter to her daughter and son-in law’s two girls while they’re embarking on their own careers!! I said good for you, I know my parents can’t get enough of their grand kids and they have thirteen of them, and three quarters of these kids ARE CRAZY I joked as we both laughed!! Then she asked me the 50 million dollar question, SO WHAT DO YOU DO? I told her that my background is in sales but recently I switched careers and went to work in the oil patch as a well tester. Then she asked if I was on days off, to which I replied, “ Well, it’s more like I’m taking some time off.” Then she said, “Oh, good for you, are you thinking about going to school?” Then I thought for a second and said to her, “ no, I’m actually just past my first year of two for treatments for cancer, I have acute leukemia.” WELL, you should have seen the look on her face!! This lady, who just a short five minutes ago we were having a fantastic conversation, turned her back to me very quickly and she looked like she just saw a GHOST!! For a second I was kind of taken back and thought – WHOAH, what just happened here? Prior to this encounter, I was feeling SO PROUD of myself for being able to be well enough to co-mingle with all of the NORMAL FOLK and then BAM, this happens. What did I do? Where did I go wrong? Why did she do that? Did I forget to brush my teeth? Maybe I should buy some gum!! What a freaking beotch!! These were just a few of the thoughts that quickly raced through my mind. For the next two minutes in line, which felt like hours, there was this awkward quietness between this lady and myself. It was as if she had tunnel vision and could only look straight a head of her!! After she went through the checkout, she couldn’t grab her bags fast enough and all she could say to me, in passing and very quickly was, “ YOU POOR POOR MAN, GOD BLESS YOU,” and like a ghost, she vanished!! I’m known for my sense of humor and, sometimes – much to my wife’s dismay, I can go a little over the top with it. I stood there, half cursing and half laughing, scratching my bald head and thinking, “what the hell just happened here?” I got my groceries, got into my car and did a mental re-hash of this past experience and I laughed my ass off the entire distance of the trip back home!! That wasn’t the first time I’d experienced peoples ignorance in regards to cancer and it certainly won’t be the last!!
Which brings me to my point. How can someone who hasn't been through cancer,whether personally or through a loved one, really know what it is we have been through? Here is the answer to that question - JUST ASK SKIPPY!!! For he most part, we don't mind talking about our experience so rather than walking out of our lives - stick around and stay for the ride. Do yo know how many times I had friends, the ones that cared to stick around, call me later in my treatments and apologize as to why they haven't called/emailed or whatever sooner? Quite a few and their reason as to why they didn't do so was because they didn't know what to say!My response to them was - " you could start with HELLO - and then throw in - YOU'LL DO ANYTHING FOR SOME TIME OFF WON'T YOU". This was a nice ice breaker for them and it showed that yes - I have cancer, but I'm still the same dude you knew pre- cancer. So, if you ever want to know what it's like to go through the shock of hearing those dreaded 3 words, and not, " HERE'S YOUR SON" a little humor, I couldn't resist, YOU HAVE CANCER and the treatments that went with those words - just ask people, just ask!
Til Next Time.
Darren
1 comment:
Most people are happy being in their little shells, covered from the outside world. Here, they are safe from bad things such as crime, hate, indifference, and yes, here their health is safe from things such as cancer.
Other's who haven't had cancer or don't know anyone affected will never know what it's like to see someone slowly dying. Will never see the triumph of the human spirit in difficult times.
You have a different take on things, like the world becomes a little more saturated, fuller, more lush when you've been through something as life changing as this. To some degree, I think we're blessed because we understand more about mortality than most.
A greater truth comes about all of this; we're shown that we can find happiness even in the smallest things. And that nothing is trivial. And that above all, everything happens for a reason.
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